THEY DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS HAPPENING IN THEIR BRAIN & BODY
When you’ve been betrayed, your mind and body are on high alert.
Because of the trauma, your body seeks to protect itself, so anything that reminds you of the betrayal is interpreted as a perceived threat. Your mind signals your body of danger, and your body responds. It’s a protective mechanism that happens automatically.
But if you don't understand what is happening, it can be hard to know what to do.
THEY BELIEVE THE LIES FROM WELL-MEANING FRIENDS, FAMILY, OR PASTORS WHO DON’T UNDERSTAND BETRAYAL
After experiencing betrayal, you feel alone and helpless. You seek help from friends, family, or church. Their intent may be well-meaning, but if they don’t understand triggers, the messages you receive could do you more harm.
Messages such as…
- you’re just digging up the past
- stop holding a grudge
- just forgive your husband
- if you were healed, you wouldn’t be triggered
These messages are counterproductive to your healing.
THEY HAVEN’T LEARNED THE SKILLS TO CALM THEIR BRAIN AND BODY
Betrayal shatters marriages, but it also shatters your sense of safety. When your body does not feel safe, it can’t heal.
A crucial part of your healing process will be to learn how to calm your brain and body so it can feel safe again. These body-based coping skills can be learned and incorporated into your daily life.